“Well you don’t need to lose weight anyway”

I’m not sure why this is a socially acceptable thing to say to people, but apparently it is.

I hear it often enough.  I don’t try to provoke it – I never bring up weight in conversation – yet it happens regularly.  And I don’t know how to respond.  And it’s awkward.

No, I don’t need to lose weight.  Really, I could do without losing any, if I want to stay healthy.  And I have no intention of losing weight.  Why so many people assume this is a thing I would be concerned with causes me mild confusion, to be honest.

It’s awkward for three main reasons:  Firstly, the person who says it, seemingly is concerned with weight and weight loss.  I don’t know what to say to them.  I have no desire to discuss their weight or my own.  It’s a touchy subject for a lot of people.  Secondly, it happens a lot if I make reference to that one bit of exercise I may have done that week or month.  I arrive into work all red, and explain that it’s because I’ve cycled in, so people get that I don’t normally sweat that much, and I’m told I don’t need to lose weight.  I wasn’t trying to lose weight.  I was mostly just trying to get to work, ’cause I didn’t have a car, and didn’t feel like walking 10k to get there.  That and being healthy and getting fresh air is always nice.  But now I almost feel bad for exercising.  Thirdly, it brings up everyone’s weight issues.  The person who says it may be thinking about their own efforts to lose or gain weight.  I’m reminded about the weight I lost over the past year, from stress and the like.  I don’t need to be reminded about stress and the like.  I’m trying to forget about stress and the like.

People often compliment others on their weight loss too.  Not to make a massive generalisation, but a lot of the time, all of this is done by women.  The problem here is, you have no idea why they lost that weight.  They may have exercised a lot, and eaten really well, and they might be grateful for recognition of their success at becoming healthier, yeah.  (Though I still think it’s risky because it might be promoting the idea that they should be a certain weight, in order to look good, which is not the intention.)  Or they might have had a fairly tough time recently, causing them to lose their appetite.  Anxiety, depression, stress and much more can cause rapid weight loss.  If you want to compliment someone on how much they’re struggling, then sure, compliment them on their weight loss, and how great that look now that they’re wasting away.  Otherwise, maybe don’t.

I’m not intentionally skinny.  I haven’t been dieting at all, or even exercising half as much as I should.  I just have a light build.  And I’m unusually tall, for a girl.  So my weight, which isn’t actually that low, is spread out over a decent amount of space.  But people have felt the need to comment on this since I was little.

To me, it just seems roughly as ridiculous as casually bringing up the fact that someone is morbidly obese.  Rude, awkward, and generally unpleasant.  When are we going to stop placing all this emphasis on being skinny?  Being skinny should not be a goal.  Being healthy should be.  If you are skinny, you’ll probably spend a lot of time feeling a tad awkward or guilty about it, because people comment on it all the time.  Today I was told “you’ve a great figure”, which was lovely, but I don’t know how to respond, like do I just say “haha yeah genetics are great” or do I do the classic Irish thing and claim to be obese (spoiler: no).  Other times people just say “oh my god you’re so skinny”, to which I don’t really know what to say, short of just apologising (I haven’t tried this method), and if it’s a very unfortunate day, this pretty much equally skinny person will refer to themselves as fat.  I don’t have time to spend my days telling women they’re not fat.  They have access to mirrors and weighing scales, they should be able to figure out that they’re not fat for themselves.  Not that they’d believe me anyway, because disagreeing with someone saying they’re fat is generally just sort of polite, unless you’re their doctor or something.

This may not be the greatest problem to face the world of 2016, but it is annoying.  It’s usually unintentional, but it promotes a negative idea about how people should look, and for that reason, it makes me uncomfortable.  You decide if you need to lose weight.  Aside from your GP, I wouldn’t really let anyone else weigh in too much on that decision.

Where would we be without notions?

People seem to be riddled with notions these days.  What’s that about?  Here are some of the ridiculous notions I’ve had the joy of acquiring during college:

Sarah, did you just enquire about a job?  Have it.
I am employable.
(Notions.)

Study culture, travel, learn, etc.
I am cultured.
(Notions.)

Study linguistics.  It’s the science of language.
I am a scientist.
(Notions.)

Study marketing.
I am going to earn money at some point.
(Notions.)

Do a graphics project.
I am a graphic designer.
(Notions.)

Teach in a Spanish-speaking country, where a teacher is called a ‘profesor’.
I am a professor.
(Notions.)

Build a website.
I am a programmer.
(Notions.)

Write a blog.
I am a writer.
(Notions.)

Study in France.  Eat a croissant.  Go wild.
I am French.
(Notions.)

Write a blog in French.
I am Voltaire.
(Notions.)

Do this project on whatever you like.
I am creative.
(Notions.)

Present your amusing thesis data at a conference.
I am hilarious.
(Notions.)

Play midfield there for the college soccer (B) team.
I am sports star.
I am asthmatic.
(Noti- oh.  That’s unfortunate…)

Really though, where would we be without notions?  If it wasn’t for them, sure why would we do anything?  I’m grateful for each and every notion I’ve acquired over the last few years, and I hope I continue to have notions for the foreseeable future.  Sure who knows where your notions could take you?
(Notions.)

I don’t always go out, but when I do…

I plan on going out on a certain night a few days beforehand, and know where I’m going.

I leave it until really late to see who else I know is actually going into town or wherever, no matter how long I’ve known I’m probably going to go out.

I decide, maybe an hour or two before I should be leaving, that I’m not that bothered about going out after all.

I then get a text or two about going out, and one saying “we’re leaving in 20 minutes, do you want a lift?”

Then, and only then, do I decide I’m definitely going out.

Once this momentous decision is made, it’s followed by approximately 5 minutes of running around looking for clothes that hopefully aren’t out for the wash or hanging out on the line, 10 minutes of frantically searching for my hairbrush, and 5 minutes of attempting to straighten or just calm my hair a bit. That’s more or less it, give or take a couple of minutes.

My life would be far easier if I just gave myself an hour or so to get ready, but of course I opt for the hectic 20 minutes of running around looking for clothes, shoes, the straightener, and my ever-elusive hairbrush.

Basically, don’t do any of that the next time you go on a night out!

Stay classy,
Sarah