A couple of weeks ago, I managed to sing a song on my own in front of people, for the first time ever. Today, I did that, but without consequently forgetting the chords I was playing as well as not blanking when it came to the lyrics.
So that’s not really a big deal – it’s something a lot of people can probably manage very easily. But it’s not something I’d ever been able to do before so I guess it’s kind of a bucket list moment for me.
Which reminds me, I need to add some stuff to my bucket list, and get crossing more things off… It’s been a while since I’ve put anything new on it. Most likely starting with trying some new French food.
It turns out my fear was justifiable. I’ve spoken almost entirely in English so far (I got here yesterday). It’s a nightmare. I need to avoid it, but can’t. Maybe after orientation and all that I’ll be able to settle in properly and actually speak French as much as I’d like to.
So far, it’s been nowhere near enough – an occasional question or encounter with university staff or shop assistants, but basically nothing else. Which has made me realise that my French is terrible now. I can barely ask basic things, and attempting to hold a conversation just fries my brain. I keep speaking Spanish by accident (things like ‘bueno’ and ‘gracías’, mainly, as well as normally saying ‘y’ instead of ‘et’). I hope that doesn’t last.
I don’t want to forget my Spanish or the tiny bit of an Argentinian accent I may have picked up when saying certain phrases, but I don’t want to keep letting Spanish get in the way of learning French. Quel cauchmar.
My pronunciation is terrible too. I just don’t remember how you’re supposed to pronounce things in French – vowels, the letters ‘c’ and ‘j’, and even where to put the emphasis in a word.
Basic vocabulary too, grammar – you name it, I’ve probably forgotten it.
Everything is really expensive as well. So that’s awful.
On a happier note, it’s quite sunny.
I think this blog could be a good way of keeping track of my deteriorating English if (I mean when) I continue to post regularly. It’s already gotten quite bad just from spending five months in Argentina (yeah that’s a thing I did, I might write about it later…). Since I’ve gotten home there have been so many occasions where I literally couldn’t get across exactly what I was trying to say, couldn’t think of a particular word that I needed, or just directly translated phrases I’d learned in Spanish into English, which ends up sounding a bit weird because although they make sense, we don’t use those exact phrases.
That and actually speaking in Spanish accidentally a few times. Now I don’t mean blurting out whole sentences in Spanish, but a few phrases now and then, like “ay díos” or “¡díos mio!”* if something goes wrong, or annoys me, or “¿qué sé yo?”** pretty much if anyone asks me a question ever. It’s nice that I picked up these phrases, and remember them, but it would be handier if I didn’t use them when meant to be speaking English…
And then there’s the hand gestures. I’ve attempted to teach one or two to friends from home, and one even caught on for a while, but I’m not sure I’m going to succeed in making them a permanent part of Irish culture just yet. Sometimes I find myself doing them and almost have to grab my hand and lower it back down into a more regular, motionless state so I can converse like a normal Irish person again.
Now France is going to influence how I communicate too, and if I manage to avoid speaking English a lot there then my English will surely get even worse. I don’t want to be awful at English, but I like to think that if my English is getting bad then surely my other languages are improving, right? …But then I find words I don’t understand in other languages and look up their meanings only to find that they’re the same in English, and realise I may need to work on improving my English for once.
But I thought I was a native speaker?!
* = “oh god” or “my god!”
** = “what do I know?”